I’m a nice guy but I have a hard time finding available single women and the bar scene and online dating are not my thing, so what do I do? Lately, I’ve been thinking that I’d rather give up and stop looking for something I’ll never find, and stay single and alone for the rest of my life. What do you think?
Machine Transcript:
Welcome to let’s get real the show but tells the truth about love sex and relationships this program is for mature adults only watch at your own risk as the truth can have life changing consequences this show does not give advice the information provided is accurate to the best of our knowledge the opinion stated are those of the person speaking the truth well the only truth that matters is your own for more information visit W W W dot getting real dot T.V. viewer discretion is advised Now here’s your hosts they did and Darlene steal from relationship coaching institute.
Welcome let’s get real today’s episode is about dealing with being single and alone Toby from South Carolina writes.
I’m in my mid thirty’s I’m a nice guy but I’ve never found that special someone I have a hard time finding available single women in the bar scene and online dating are not my thing so what do I do. Lately I’ve been thinking that I’d rather give up and stop looking for something that I’ll never find and stay single and alone for the rest of my life what do you think.
Toby my heart goes out to you I definitely know what it feels like to be frustrated and discouraged and that there’s so many singles in the world but you know where’s the one for you however you do appear to be focused on the negative what you don’t want to do you don’t want to go to the bars you don’t want to do online dating and so that might be part of the problem.
And it’s also clear that you really want to find that special person you don’t want to be alone and you definitely don’t want to give up.
So Toby as it happens you came to the right place because I wrote a book called conscious dating. Finding the love of your life and the like the you love and there’s lots of information for singles at concerts Dating dot com and the book is there’s well and. Really when you’re single and you’re not clear about how to find the love of your life it seems like you’re trying to find a needle in a haystack you’ve got this big barn of hay filled with hay and there’s a needle in there someplace and it’s just absolutely overwhelming you can’t imagine how can you possibly find that tiny little needle in that huge haystack Well we’ve got good news for you conscious dating is a process and a program and there’s strategies of exactly how you can find that needle so it’s not necessarily instant It’s not like you go in the barn of hay and then find a needle right away however it’s like having a huge magnet imagine if you were trying to find a needle in a haystack and you had a huge magnet that that would be a heck of a lot faster and more efficient for you so it is absolutely possible you just need the right tools the right strategies the right information and it’s so noble that causes Dating dot com And and it really does work when you hear from people all the time who just like you Toby who just felt like it’s just not going to happen for me and we hear from them all the time that hey they did find that needle in the haystack so it’s definitely possible for you and Toby something that really helped me when I was single. Is the understanding that you’re not alone in this that at the same time you are trying to find the love of your life the right one for you there’s somebody out there who is looking for somebody just like you so you’re not alone in searching so there’s at least. People searching for for each other here and so please don’t give up or the one who’s looking for you will be alone forever.
We would want that we don’t want that yeah she need you to keep searching.
So the other thing that we noticed was that you are you do kind of have a negative attitude about this whole thing so we really read recommend that you.
Develop a positive attitude I can find that person and I don’t want to focus on what you can’t do what you don’t want to look at so how about you know I do love to go hiking maybe I can join a hiking club or you know I like this so. Right in.
The Internet.
There are thousands of women within twenty miles of you that are single on the Internet looking for possible partners like you and why in the world would you rule that out now you may have some judgment about it that only you know losers are on the Internet or you know perverts are on the Internet or you know but really it’s every day people are on the Internet well I’m going to guess that that he’s trying to enter an on line dating and you know he didn’t work he was finding the wrong people or they weren’t showing up for the dates or something like that I’m that’s what would be my assumption that it’s just.
You know trying it and it doesn’t work it doesn’t you know then you get frustrated about that too right so the Internet and online matchmaking like it is a tool and a tool is only as effective as you use it so conscious dating will definitely help you use the Internet more effectively and it is a great tool I mean that’s how we found each other.
I do recommend it had contests dating and online dating what works for us right so what matters is what works. And if the Internet and online dating works then go ahead and use it but definitely learn how to use it. Lastly Toby we believe that it’s important to get the support that you need you know no one is successful alone and when we try to do things that are hard for us alone we get frustrated we get discouraged and we stop believing in ourselves and we stop believing that it’s possible for us so get the support you need this could be friends family this could be a support group but also a relationship coach would highly recommend at least talking to a relationship coach so you can go to concerts Dating dot com and click on find a coach and many of the coaches there will provide a free strategy session they’ll be happy to talk with you no charge because they really want to help and if you decide to hire them then that’s great I mean that’s that’s why they provide the freezer so you can try it out so it doesn’t cost you anything but trust me trying to do it all by yourself especially if it’s not working for you you need to do something differently so don’t do it alone get the support that you need.
So if you have an idea I think just general comment for Toby please enter it in the comment box below and let’s help him to deal with being single and alone. So thanks for joining us and we will see you next time OK ready to take to.
Bye for now.