Video: Radical Romance

Here’s how to think outside the box and explode the romance in your relationship!

Machine Transcript:

Welcome to our radical relationship video series Today’s topic is radical romance so let’s start by defining a couple of important words the dictionary defines love as a profoundly tender passionate passion for another person so love is a feeling an involuntary emotion that happens inside you the dictionary defines romance and as to core or woo with ardor so romance is an action it’s a conscious choice. Our definition of radical romance is to energetically creatively and continuously express your love and woo your beloved.

This often happens by itself early in a long term relationship but over time couples become comfortable with each other and become complacent and the relationship becomes boring stale and routine.

We need routines routines can be comforting and make our life together run smoothly. Routines can also become suffocating and boring so we need excitement writing as well. So how can you spice up your love life with radical romance Stay tuned and we’ll show you how to

so what is radical romance and how do you apply it to your relationship. As we said radical romance is to energetically creatively and continuously express your love and woo your beloved this requires three things a radical attitude radical action and a radical strategy radical attitude means you strive to be the best partner and co-create the exciting fun going relationship that you both want.

In attitude is a point of view it’s a belief system it’s where you’re coming from in your head is to what you think about things it’s kind of your lens or filter for the world you might notice that some people have an attitude in a relationship that is very entitled like I deserve to be happy and it’s my job my partner job to make me happy or a codependent kind of attitude where well I don’t really deserve love so you know it’s my job to take care of my partner and love them so they’ll love me back so a good attitude in a relationship that is healthy and strong for both partners is where you both take responsibility for the relationship equally I like to think of it as each of you take one hundred percent responsibility for the outcomes of the relationship.

Then radical action you take initiative and responsibility by doing things with and for your partner every day that enhance your relationship and your life together and we’re really not kidding about this you know every day we have many many opportunities to do things for a partner and make our partner happy from the moment we get up until the time we go to bed at night and how you show up in the relationship in every nanosecond either expresses your love for your partner or your valuing of the relationship what it means to you what your partner means to you or not so radical action is. About taking initiative and responsibility by doing things with and for your partner every day focusing on Hansing your relationship and life together every day imagine what your relationship in your life would be like if you were working every day to make it the best possible.

For a radical strategy on creating adequate romance every day in your life we recommend one way dates couples can fall into compromise ruts where each gives up what they really want to do to find something they both can agree upon for example choosing movies. In my purse marriage my wife and I always compromise on movies she loved love stories and animal movies and all the mushy stuff and as a guy I love action adventure and blood and guts and war movies and we always compromise so what was left pretty much comedies so during a ten year marriage the entire marriage we always pretty much saw comedies and it wasn’t till after that marriage ended that I caught up with Indiana Jones and Star Trek and Star Wars and I realized that compromising continuously in a relationship doesn’t quite work as an ongoing everyday strategy better way to go is to negotiate so when you negotiate you are coming up with a solution that meets both of your needs so in a relationship in terms of having fun to gether what you do that is romantic up and it’s rare that either of you get to have the kind of experience that you really really want so one way dates is a strategy for doing that or types of dates one dates is where partner one create a romantic experience partner two they are focusing on Partner two and making them happy and creating the romantic experience of their dreams one hundred percent without thought of what they want. Or what they were for it’s absolutely one hundred percent for their partner and then type two days are where you switch and your partner does that preview they create a romantic experience for you they put their creativity and effort and energy into creating this romantic experience just the way you wanted that would make you ecstatically happy outfought whether they would want to do it or not it’s totally absolutely for you now type three dates are where partner one creates a self centered romantic experience this is where you create the romantic experience of your dreams for yourself that you want to share with your partner so it’s like they are a supporting player in your date and you get to have it exactly the way you want it. And Type four dates are where you switch and your partner creates a self centered romantic experience for themselves and you are supporting player your job is to go along with a good attitude and to help them have a good time to help them have the feeling romantic experience that they really really want that they create for themselves if you hate the opera but they want to go to the opera you’re going to go to the opera and you’re going to like it. So to make this work Here’s some suggestions for you.

Purse discuss and commit on this plan together this is not something that we recommend that you do by yourself you could you could create an experience for your partner totally one hundred percent without them doing it for you you could create an experience for yourself one hundred percent and ask them to play along but this plan works much much better when you are co-creating in when you are teaming and being about partners together and both of you are doing this so discuss and commit to this plan together.

And schedule your one way dates get your calendar out and scale. Maybe months or a year in advance so that you both know when to expect them and you have the time blocked out and we also recommend that you actually designate the type of date for each date on your calendar so you might start off with type one and Type two then type three then type more and then the next month start over again with type one and Type two then type three and four so when that that date approaches that you know you both know what kind of date it is and whose month to billet it is to put the time and energy into creating the experience for that date.

And then plan your date ahead of time do not wait until the last minute your partner will be disappointed his plan won’t work if you wait to the last minute and then you’re struggling for something to do this is about quality experience it’s about having a great relationship and great romance and requires some poor thought at least a week before your scheduled date go ahead and think about it and put some plans in place for exactly what you’re going to do on that date.

Don’t compromise or negotiate these are one way dates if you try to come up with a romantic experience for yourself that you things except the both your partner you’re compromising if you try to come up with a romantic experience for you or your partner that you can live with Again you’re compromising So this strategy works best when you are absolutely designing the romantic experience of your dreams for yourself or your partner’s dream to wear that him without censoring without compromising.

So recommand make each date unique don’t recycle power state even if you had a great time and you’d love to do it again because what happens is you develop a routine and that’s what we’re trying to get. Way from here also keep agreements relationship is based upon trust and agreements about pretty much everything whether it’s you know money or kids or chores your entire life together is based on agreements your one way dates and your romance you will discuss a plan you will set the dates and then you must keep those agreements if the date time comes and you forgot about it or you weren’t prepared then you didn’t keep the agreement and this plan doesn’t work and if you do that consistently it will in your relationship your relationship won’t work either.

Budget your time and money definitely discussed that between you two how much time to devote to this is this going to be a two hour experience or a full day experience or a weekend experience and budget your money as well most people have limited time they’re not able to spend an unlimited amount of money on these experiences and really you don’t need to spend any money on these experiences definitely have agreements around how much time and money to spend on your radical romance one way dates.

Have a positive attitude for each date if you’re creating an experience for your partner and they love the opera you hate the opera you will go to the opera and love the opera and really create the experience that they want which is for you to have a good time too if you have anything less than a positive attitude then they will not have the experience that they deserve and vice versa can you really have fun knowing that your partner is just gritting their teeth and getting through it. And lastly don’t keep score don’t try to one up your partner don’t play tit for tat. Don’t plan and. Date based on what your partner did the last time start each date with a blank slate don’t keep score or a relationship doesn’t work well if you keep score and you one way dates won’t work grow either. So.

Sometimes one way is the best way in a successful relationship so fun and get creative with radical romance.